It is an amazing fact that God's Holy Word speaks to us on so many issues relevant to our daily lives.
One of those topics is that of "children obeying their parents". Here is a common verse used for that subject.
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth
From this verse it would appear that God indeed wants children to obey their parents. This beg's the question; do children have to blindly obey parents in ALL situations? Today with many sinful parents; where does that really leave the Christian child?
Lets explore more of God's Word to see if there is ever a situation where obedience to parents may not apply and still be pleasing to God. We do this by seeking the full truth in God's Word and not by only reading one of two verses to fit our own theology or view.
We have noticed that many people including those in man made religion (denominational systems like Baptist/Lutheran /Methodist etc) will use this verse to instruct and command children to obey parents in ALL cases. Is this really true? Is is there ever a situation where a child should NOT obey their parents? This article is intended to explore this topic/verse and help us to see the truth by using key bible verses related to the parent child relationship in the Lord.
The first thing to note is that right after the Eph 6:1-3 verses on children obeying is the command to not bring them to wrath and fathers are to raise their children in the Lord.
verse 4 says
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
This helps us understand that what God has in mind is a godly father who trains up a child and is always acting out in the truth of God's Word towards that child. Often that is NOT the case and fathers will demand children obey when they are not godly and they are NOT obedient to God themselves. While this is no excuse to disobey a parent; it is the breeding grounds for a child to see hypocrisy in a father or mother and then he may be less inclined to obey out of respect. God's design works best so fathers should be godly examples and NEVER Lord over their homes. Jesus warned against lording over others in these verses below:
Jesus said this in Matt 20:25-27
But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them.
But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister;
And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant:
Just as the Word says husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church ( Eph 5 ) fathers should be seeking to biblically serve their families and NOT just demanding a blind obedience of them as that is NOT of God. They also must be in line with the Holy Word or they are not to be obeyed in matters of biblical truth. God's Word is clear on that as we will show you.
We think it is important to make the point in this article that we are to obey God first then fathers/mothers, the government or other men. In the book of Romans chapter 13 we know the government is put in place to do good for Gods will. But when it turns evil, the Christ follower must not obey it blindly and go onto sin. We know this from the words of Apostle Peter in Acts 5:29. He was commanded by the leaders to not preach in Jesus name but he disobeyed them and said this:
Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.
You may be asking what specific case would be involved where a child may have biblically to disobey a parent? Any time the parent commands the child to go against the Word of God.... they must disobey for God's glory.
What if a rebellious unbiblical parent was acting in total disobedience towards God and wanted his children to partake in false man made religion? God's Word is clear in such matters and children are to obey Gods Word and not any man including their father or mother that leads to sin. (go to our discernment blog for articles on many topics) The believing child is to do what he knows is good from God's Word and NOT sin even if his father or mother tells him to. In this disobedience against sinful ways, God is glorified in Him!
We see in James 4:17 this verse:
Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
With that in mind, knowing we are to obey Gods Word above all else (even parents) did Jesus show us some insight / examples of separation of parents and children over matters of faith/truth in Him? Indeed He did and let me share a few of those verses with you:
When a man asked Jesus to let him go bury his father before following the Lord, Jesus said let the dead bury the dead! Luke 9:60-62
And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
60 Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.
61 And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house.
62 And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.
How about Matthew 10 where Jesus says He indeed came to separate father and son?
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
In these gospels Mark 10:29, Matthew 19:29 and Luke 18:29 Jesus talks about those who have left things for Him and a reward waits for them because of it.
Luke 18:29 says this:
And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake,
30 Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting.
Finally Jesus calls some men and they leave their father and follow Him.
Matthew 4:22
And going on from thence, he saw other two brethren, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in a ship with Zebedee their father, mending their nets; and he called them.
22 And they immediately left the ship and their father, and followed him.
Do you see a pattern here?
It is the truth and obedience to God that comes before obeying parents blindly and in all situations. Should a child obey his godly biblical parents in all things? Yes indeed! But should a godly child who knows sin from holiness also then disobey an unbiblical sinful request from a parent? The answer is a biblical yes and they do it for Gods glory!
Depending on the child's age/relationship to the parent; they may want to sit down and tell his father/mother why he cannot obey him and then show him in God's Word the error of their ways. A godly parent would respect this and even learn from it to better their walk in the Lord. But a stiff necked stubborn and rebellious parent may bring wrath upon the child. This can happen but the bible does tell us all who live godly will suffer persecution? ( see 2 Tim 3:12 ) God is able to see a person through such things if their focus is on Him.
In closing, the secret to this and all situations lies in knowing, then following God's Word and not our feelings, man made religion or opinions of fathers/mothers. Only when we live by EVERY Word out of the mouth of God ( Matthew 4;4 ) can we fully glorify Him in a manner that is worthy of His majesty and greatness.
Children obey your parents in the Lord but..........
obey Gods Word above all else and be ready to stand against ANY person who would cause you to sin before your Holy God who redeemed you with the hope of the gospel. see our gospel link here....
We hope this article has helped you to see obedience and truth at a greater biblical level all for the glory of God.
Please let us know how we can assist you in anyway.
www.dontperish.com