It breaks my heart to hear about men (even if they are unbiblical) that are leaders when they fall into sin. It gives me no joy to do this article on a mans situation I have exposed in the past and find a heretic. I still have human compassion on his plight and sinful state. (I am not better then him) These men ruin their ministry and smear God's Holy name but again; we all could fall.
In recent years, we have heard of famous men like Bill Hybels, Perry Stone and Jerry Falwell Jr that fell into various sexual sin situations causing them to leave the ministry. These men were all big time (heretical) evangelical worldly types and their fall is not really so surprising to me.
Recently in Oct 2020 I heard of a man (David) that I have know of for years who had claimed to be an kingdom Christian type that fell into a type of emotional sin /heading to sexual sin and it was shocking. Not that he fell, as we all could, it was how he spoke of it and what he DID and NOT do about it all. It reminded me of this topic and I thought an article talking about when leaders fall, how the restoration process could work and what to DO and NOT to do.
Fact: Men who lead or teach will be held to a higher standard!
James 3;1 says this about leaders:
My brethren, be not many masters ( teachers) knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.
Paul also give qualities of a elder/teacher in Titus 1:
If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers. For there are many unruly and vain talkers and deceivers, specially they of the circumcision: Whose mouths must be stopped, who subvert whole houses, teaching things which they ought not, for filthy lucre's sake.
One of themselves, even a prophet of their own, said, the Cretians are alway liars, evil beasts, slow bellies. This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith; Not giving heed to Jewish fables, and commandments of men, that turn from the truth.
The truth is that there is much said in scripture about approaching, calling out and separating from such men, but there is nothing exactly about how to restore them back to ministry. Some areas of verses like Matt 18, 2 Thess 3, 1 Tim 5, 3 John and 2 Tim 3 talk about sin, calling out and separating from those in sin but the restoration plan/process is seeming left to the other leaders. (Paul talks about restoring a brother as does James but it is not about leaders really)
I will say this knowing what God's Word teaches that if a leader falls into any sin that would cause his ministry to be defamed or him to be mistrusted; he is to repent, step down. He should be removed from a teaching or authority position till such time it has been addressed, corrected and proper time has passed to make sure he is now fit to again lead or teach, if that is even possible. (some sins may make him void of that office in the future) How long all this takes is based on what he has done of course and the exact situation. The other men around him should take appropriate action for the body and his own good. This is why there was always multiple elders and not one man in charge in the NT body. Once he is removed then together a plan can be made to counsel and work towards reconciliation to teach again if he is deemed fit. All of this must be handled in a case by case situation as much varies and there are no canned answers except; he needs to step down and go through correct discipline and oversight.
See articles on multiple elders here:
https://spiritandtruthdiscernment.blogspot.com/2014/03/biblical-elders.html
https://spiritandtruthdiscernment.blogspot.com/2014/02/is-modern-pastor-role-biblical.html
For this article; I will go mainly into and address how to NOT handle your sin when a leader falls and it is based on this recent situation of a man we know of who has admittedly fallen. So the facts are known; this married teacher in a small house body has come on public video and admitted he grew emotionally close to a young woman and was on the way to sexual adultery with her. After watching his sad repenting video, I have some thoughts and comments that show how this was handled all wrong and perhaps highlighting it for teaching points will edify someone out there if they are ever in this situation.
1) the fallen teacher man came on video all by himself without other men there with him. Big mistake; he needed to show everyone they have over sight now going on to over see guide him. Since he said other men knew about this for months and allowed it to go on; shows this body was VERY lax and unbiblical in this whole situation. This is key as he rejected there warning and concerns for months about this woman so I ask who is in charge in this body? I think he was above correction and he fell in his own trap. I saw his pride years ago and warned him about it all but he tossed me and that warning aside and we know you reap what you sow. At that time and today, we saw his false gospel and wondered if he was even born again at all? I fear by his fruit, he is not a new creation in Christ.
The fear of the Lord is to hate evil:
pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way,
and the froward mouth, do I hate.
Prov 8:13
2) he used it as a occasion to try and teach God's Word. NOT good and I found it very distasteful! When you have just been flirting/playing footsy as a married man for months with a much younger woman, no one in their right mind wants to here you talk God's truth/holiness. He should have repented and said he was going into a correction mode and let the other men teach on, not him. That is pride and arrogance something he preaches and rails on in the past to his shame now.
“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!
Matt 23
3) the teacher man admitted his fall but blamed it on deadly emotions. He claimed he was so depressed so it caused him to lean on her. It may be true but a leader needs to OWN his sin, not make excuses. He also blamed God by saying the Lord sent him this young woman as a best friend. That is a BOLD lie as God does not send other women to do what your wife should be there to do, be your best friend.
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
Gal 6:7
4) He went on and on and on (45 minutes) about the little details he did with her (special hand shakes, footsy, hug notes, hugging, time alone, nick names, cooking together etc etc) even describing when he had a chance to fornicate in his distant past with another woman. He then lifted this young woman up as precious when she is just as guilty in this all as well. (she knew his wife!) What damage he continued to do to his wife vs just confessing and stop talking about all the details. He was very self absorbed and that is not good if he is to be humble and repent! All of this was NOT needed info when you are confessing and showing you sinned. You just need to confess then go pray, study and seek a path forward out of your teaching / leader role till a agreed time to start a path back is found.
So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.
Romans 8:8
5) Shamefully he talked more about this young woman and he fondness of her vs discussing the GREAT damage he did to his wife, testimony and his body. Again it was very self absorbed of him and not a sign he understands this all biblically. He is not fit to lead or teach at this point as Titus 1 shows.
But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate;
6) In perhaps the MOST appalling thing about his case, this was not a weekend thing then, he came to his senses. Oh no, he did this for 2-3 months and many meeting / discussions with his wife and body warned him but; he kept going with her. His brothers did NOT use Matt 18 discipline in him! (her family and his wife all agreed they could still hug and be together so; I am not sure where these people stand for wisdom in the Lord at all?) He even admitted it was headed for sexual adultery so in this case; I would push for a much longer time to store him (if at all) as he clearly lacks good biblical discernment, control and solid judgement.
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1 Cor 6:18
After watching his confession video, I am not sure he sees the magnitude of it all and so he is NOT fit to teach of lead anyone.
Note: Did I mention this young woman's parents trusted him to find her a husband and that man turned demonic thankfully before they married. Now they have to face the fact that he, as a elder, was hitting on their daughter that they trusted to help her find a pure marriage. What a wicked web the flesh and pride and lead us to.
What makes this all worse is this man is known to scold and preach hard against immodesty, love of money and divorce and remarriage even before you were in Christ. What a hypocritical mess he made of his testimony. The good news is this can ALL be redeemed in Christ but if he is fit to teach; that is yet to be seen?
The moral of this mans fall is sadly one of flesh, pride, no boundaries, lack of wisdom, a weak marriage bond, no solid accountability, terrible discernment and it all ended so very bad for everyone involved. This body could certainly use some biblical boundaries to protect God's name / peoples witness. I will discuss some of those common sense steps we use in this article:
https://spiritandtruthdiscernment.blogspot.com/2020/10/boundaries-safeguards-and-protections.html
There you have it. While God's Word is very quiet on how to go about restoring men to lead after a fall; using all of the wisdom in the bible we can know how to handle it to protect the Lords name, others and even avoid it altogether.
God be praised
***************************************